Problems? Not at all!
by Mirocchi
Summary: We all know what happened in the Triwizard Tournament. But could two alchemists, a few Soul Reapers, full set of hosts and a pair of almost tolerable own characters change the tide? Chapter 3: The Father is so happy when the daughter supports his idea!
1. Chapter 1

**First things first:** **_Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club_** and/or **_Harry Potter_** are not created and/or owned by me and/or my friend. The characters are not our property either. And if some other series are mentioned, we don't own them. Who would've figured? But actually we own quite a few characters, and I'm going to claim them before someone else can. But they're showing up later in the story. I'll tell you then. I wonder if we could say we own the plot. Probably not as we just took The Goblet of Fire and warped the details, conversations and events to please us.

It's going to be a crossover. And it isn't even as bad as it sounds. Even I find it funny at times (well... I find it funny quite often. But I'm writing it. Let's not brag.). But it will include several _pairings_, which I try to summarize now. Don't flame me for the pairings (some of them are more of a joke), you don't have to read this. And if I forget something, I'm really sorry. In the order I remember them: TamakiXHaruhi, IchigoXRenji, KyoorakuXUkitake, KyoyaXKaoru, RoyXEd, HermioneXRon and UllaXCrush. Some more, some less.

This fic is a translation of a Finnish fic, **Ei meillä ole ongelmia**. I've written it myself with my friend (I'm going to call her **Lady Gray** from now on). It's going to run up to 50 chapters in Finnish, and I try to translate all the chapters. If you can read Finnish, tell me (I can publish more chapters in it too. I just felt nobody was reading it and stopped updating. I have 36 chapters of it stored up). I'm also looking for somebody to translate this, because I'm still working on the writing and translating doubles my efforts. Also _beta reading_ this would be appreciated (I know I'm pretty good in English, but a native speaker reading this beforehand would just help). Because I'm working really hard both on writing and translating, _reviews_ make my heart beat. The odds (as in numbers, not as adjective) are Lady's and the rest are mine. Enjoy.

**1. Sounds like a bad fairytale?**

A boy with golden hair gazed out of train's windows with glazed eyes. Scenery rushing by begun to change from undulating fields to gray, foggy moores. In a mind of 15-year-old – though he appeared to be years younger than that – everything that had happened in these past few days was trying to make sense.

* * *

"I have some clues of The Philosopher's stone, Fullmetal", Mustang said and threw a binder which he had been looking at on the table. Without blinking his eyes or turning his stare from the Colonel Ed took the papers.

"The Colonel is always giving clues. None of them has been right this far", he replied sarcastically, making Mustang's midnight blue eyes darken a degree. Ed's mouth twitched when he noticed that he had managed to irk the Colonel. It was a game he could play forever.

"Even if the receiver of the clue is short, I suggest we use a higher approach", Mustang snapped back. It made the shorter alchemist's gaze darken in turn. Colonel folded his hands and reclined his arms on the table. Ed gnashed his teeth. 'I'm not going to get mad, I'm going to control myself, I'm not going to please that bastard by showing him that he get's me explosively angry, I'm not going to get mad, I'm going to control myself..." the boy repeated the mantra in his head as Mustang begun to show off his clues.

"I have gotten this clue from a trustworthy source..."

"Which is?"

"What do you mean, ' which is ' ?"

"Who gave you the clue?"

"A trustworthy source."

"Which is?"

"A cousin of a spy who heard it from his friend who heard it from his friends girlfriend who heard it from this great ladies' man. I can't follow the clue further."

"So you got the clue from you."

"...yes, from me. No!"

"I got you."

Mustang sighed as he finally gave up. The defeat stang like a lemon which a half-elf woman put in a sandwich.

"Well... Back to the clue which we got from a trustworthy source."

"The clue we got from you."

"...It's said that in a castle in a distant land..."

"This is beginning to sound like some bad fairytale."

"So in a castle far from here is a stone also known as Philosopher's stone."

"Well that was clear." Mustang hung his head as Ed celebrated his victory.

Mustang cleared his throat and put his papers together.

"And then the bad news: I'm going with you."

"You're what?"

"Tsh, puppy, the leader of the pack is speaking", Mustang scowled at Ed.

"Yes, I'm going to come with you. The castle is far away from here and you need a guide. By the way, Alphonse has to stay behind. Walking armors are common there, but talking armors are a different story", Roy slowed his pace and explained slowly and carefully, as if he was explaining a little kid why one couldn't take one's favorite toy to a school at the first day (because one's favorite toy happened to be an effing axe.) Ed crossed his arms and snorted, trying to act as hurt as he could.

* * *

It was hard to tell about it to Al softly. Ed had to choose his words carefully, because he didn't wan't to get crushed by a hefty armor. Al couldn't always keep in mind the comparison of his and Ed's sizes and the consequences of it. Finally, after some persuasion, Al promised to stay back in Resembool with Winry and Aunt Pinako.

When Ed had left from the Rockbells' house, Winry had loudly cheered after him "May the Force be with you!" Ed had waited a little while to see if there was going to be a wrench flying after him, carrying the message telling him that he should use the wrench to build an ancient yet very civilized weapon. It didn't happen, but Ed was pretty sure he had seen a bottle of golden spray-paint on the kitchen table. Poor Al.

* * *

On the railway station Ed sat on his big brown suitcase and searched for a dark colonel. Leaning to his hands, the boy finally gave up and trusted that Roy – Mustang, not _Roy_ – would make it in time. He had the train tickets with him, so he'd better show up.

"So you climbed up to watch because you can't see otherwise?" Familiar voice dragged Ed back to Earth. The boy jumped up and turned around to glare at the colonel.

"I. Am. Not. Short. You. Stupid. Womanizer", he snorted. Mustang laughed at his face and shrugged.

"I can't help being handsome", he retorted and gave a flirty look to a lady passing.

"But let's leave it at that. Come", the colonel turned serious and beckoned Ed to follow him.

Staring at his back, Ed noticed that Roy looked stylish and even handsome when dressed casually. The blue uniform of the military had been replaced by black pants and a jacket, but the collar shirt had stayed. The way Mustang carelessly carried his suitcase on his shoulder was gorgeous. Ed could've eaten the man for breakfast. Ed blushed and mentally gave himself a beating even his teacher wasn't capable of.

They arrived to a pole between platforms nine and ten.

"Don't tell me you got the place wrong", Ed said and crossed his arms after placing his suitcase down.

"I didn't, we are where we're supposed to be", Mustang stated and gave a careful look around him. People didn't seem to mind them and the colonel seemed happy about it. Ed shook his head.

"We are facing a pole and I don't see any secret door to go through. Why even bother with the train station?" the boy complained, looking around the station. The people really didn't give a hoot about them. It was all too strange.

"Because we are taking a train", gave colonel as an explanataion. Ed gave a martyr-like sigh and stared at the ceiling high above him.

"Oh Goddess Martel, why am I stuck as a subortinate to that?" he thought, even though he didn't believe in any kind of higher power.

"Now", was the only thing he heard from Mustang before the man caught him by the arm and pulled the boy with him. The pull was pretty hard and surprising and the boy barely had the time to catch his suitcase. They went through the pole and ended up on a hidden platform. The pole behind them carried a sign with the platform's number on it. Ed rised his eyebrow as he stared at the number for one silent moment.

"9 and ¾?"

"Yes?"

"That's one stupid number."

"If you say so."

"And this is against the law."

"Which law?"

"The law of alchemy."

"Maybe so. But with some magic..."

"Magic exists only in children's fairytales."

"Just few days ago you yourself stated that this sounds like a bad fairytale."

Ed sighed and rolled his big golden eyes, then followed Mustang to a train waiting. The boy hadn't got the energy to argue about it with the colonel, who – strange enough – seemed to think the whole episode all normal.

* * *

Thus their journey begun. Mustang had pulled his hat to cover his face and told that he would take a nap, for the trip was long and he could sleep away the hours he had missed last night working overtime with Hawkeye. Before the man had fallen asleep Ed had asked how the colonel had explained his absence and how the paperwork was going to get done after his leave. Mustang had replied that he had told everypody that he was going to work on a field for a change and do some research. With Riza keeping an eye on them and having a steady hand with the gun, the paperwork wouldn't be neglected at all. Ed wondered if Hawkeye had two guns, one with real bullets and one with blanks for scaring people. You would've thought that the command had gotten tired with the bullet holes of Mustang's office.

Now Ed just sat and stared at the changing scenery with the rattle of the train and the light snoring of Mustangs in his ears.

* * *

**A/N:** That was Lady for you, folks. And my shiny, pretty translation, of course. Hope you enjoyed. Next up, my very own Bleachy chapter. See you in a week or two? The story behind why and how this begun? Just ask.


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, it has been read a few times? I'm really glad. I usually write in Finnish and ... well, the stories get read ten times at best and then that's it. Now the first chapter itself has been read more than that. Thanks for reading, and I'll give a written cookie to everyone who faved or alerted this: "It has chocolate chunks in it. It has this nice, sweet flavor. Somebody baked it with love. It certainly isn't made in factory." I hope you like chocolate cookies. If not, leave a review and complain. I'll write another. But reviews for the story itself are loved the most.

So it's chappy two, written by me. I'm not Lady, so it's a lot different.

**2. It ain't as easy as it looks like!**

A black butterfly soared through the sky and landed on the pink-clad shoulder of the captain of the Soul Society's 8th division, Kyooraku Shunsui. Some others would have been surprised by the butterfly's raspy voice which was one of a old man's, but Kyooraku didn't mind. Instead he listened calmly to a message from the captain of the 1st division.

"Very important mission. May include Aizen. Report for duty immediately."

Apparently the captain Yamamoto-Genryuusai had gotten one of the Butterfly Messenger Inc.'s "10 words for free"-offers.

Giving a sigh Kyooraku stood up and corrected his straw hat. Guess he should find out more.

* * *

When Kyooraku arrived at the meeting, Ukitake was already leaning against the wall looking thoughtful. Yamamoto-Genryuusai grumpily rested on his cane.

"Old man Yama! Juushiro-san. What's going on?" Kyooraku saluted.

"Don't rush it", Yamamoto-Genryuusai rebuked, not caring about Kyooraku's disrespectful salute.

"Oh, we're still waiting for someone?" Kyooraku inquired and raised his eyebrow in surprise. Yamamoto-Genryuusai only nodded.

After ten minutes of standing around Ukitake carefully cleared his throat.

"Captain Yamamoto-Genryuusai, who are we still waiting for?"

"Yes yes, the youth these days... No sense of time whatsoever, no respect for their elders either... Oh, it was all different when I was young..."

Kyooraku and Ukitake shifted glances. Yamamoto-Genryuusai just kept going with his muttering.

After a while he continued on to complaining how even the weather was better when he was young. Kyooraku signaled with his hands what he thought about the speach and Ukitake had to keep form grinning.

"I saw that, boy!"

Ukitake turned his back on them. His shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

* * *

After a moment of still more quiet waiting they heard shouting quickly coming close.

"We are late!"

"I told you so! You should've taken it off quicker!"

"But it ain't as easy as it looks like!"

Soon after the voices Ichigo and Renji themselves rushed to meet the captains waiting. They almost crashed into Yamamoto-Genryuusai.

When the boys had catched their breath, Renji saluted the captains respectfully and Ichigo less-respectfully.

"Sorry we were late. Renji had some troubles getting out of his human body", Ichigo explained and gave a pissed look at Renji. It banished some horrid mental images from Kyooraku's mind.

Renji just blushed and looked away.

Yamamoto-Genryuusai shook his head.

"I've heard that there has been something strange happening in England during this August. Everyday citizen have been attacked. We have to find out if this has something to do with Aizen. That's why I want you to investigate this further in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry . You'll be seen, but probably you'll be taken as ghosts", he explained.

"Excuse me, captain, but why us?" Ukitake asked the question they all wanted the answer for.

"Plot reas... No, I mean Lieutenant Abarai and the Kurosaki bloke are young and will understand the children around there, and you have ... experience. If Aizen is involved, we'd better have our best men working on it", Yamamoto-Genryuusai ended with a skeptical cough. Apparently he had some question if the men before him were the best.

* * *

"Are you sure this works better than the tunnel between Soul Society and Karakura?" Ichigo asked and gave the gate a suspicious glance.

"Of course it does. Calm down", Ukitake reassured him and then resumed the preparations for the journey.

Renji looked thoughtful, then blushed – the red was a very becoming shade near that of a hero's jacket in so many manga series – and then ruffled Ichigo's hair with a strange look on his face.

Finally Ukitake and some random shinigamis were done with the preparations. There were four small and garish machines that resembled planes waiting for them.

"These are Rare Birds! 12th division developed them for missions like this", Ukitake explained excitedly.

"Rare Birds. Did you pick that up from a game or something?"

"Well, we could've given more thought to the names", Ukitake agreed with a sigh.

Then he read the instructions. For some reason the machines were controlled be two control sticks which made it easier to fly backwards than forwards. Fortunately the trip was short enough not to let it become a problem.

The captains sat on their Rare Birds. Renji and Ichigo were more cautious, but followed the example. The machines ascended and formed a diamond shape at once, so that Ukitake sat at front, Renji and Ichigo next to each other behind him and Kyooraku ended up at the back. After hovering in air for 15 minutes they managed to find the accelerators.

Surprisingly soon they hit the wall between the worlds, but continued straight through it.

* * *

As soon as they were past the wall, the Rare Birds dropped like rocks.

"Fimbles! Couldn't they just fix this already? We've been using these machines for years! And still every time, every single time, they fall!" Ukitake cursed as he managed to get up from the pile of junk.

"Fimbles?" Renji asked and pushed a detached wing off of him.

"You shouldn't curse in front of children", Kyooraku defended Ukitake's choice of word and lifted the carcass of the machine so that he got his hat from under it.

"But still... Fimbles?" Ichigo rolled his eyes. He had already stood up and estimated now the huge castle before them.

Somebody coughed behind them.

"Pleasure that you came to visit. Did you come to meet me or did you flying machines break down by coincidence on the the yard of my school?"asked an old man with long white beard and a robe. The twinkle in man's eyes looked a bit perverted to Kyooraku. He wondered what kind of glitter the man had used.

"Excuse me, but is this Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Ukitake inquired politely and brushed dust off of his clothes.

"Yes. I'm the head master. My name is Albus Dumbledore. I suppose your the shinigamis who came from Soul Society to look for former 5th division captain Sosuke Aizen and the captains of 3rd and 9th divisions who left with him", the man better stated than asked.

"Yes. I take it that you've been informed that we were coming?" Ukitake assumed.

"Not really", Dumbledore answered with a smug smile.

"Then how did you know to wait for us?" Kyooraku asked. He was mildly surprised.

Dumbledore didn't answer. Instead he began to hum a song that sounded annoingly familiar, but still didn't ring any bells.

Ichigo started picking small pieces of their former Rare Birds from Renji's hair, Ukitake searched his suitcase for a hairbrush and Kyooraku shaked dust off of his overcoat

"Don't you really want to know how I know all this?" Dumbledore finally asked annoyedly.

"Not really, no", Ichigo stated and dropped a handful of nuts to the ground.

"May I inquire if Aizen is here?" Ukitake interrupted politely.

"No. I presume that he's still Livin' la Vida Loca – I mean, he's still in Hueco Mundo. But I'd be happy to welcome you to our school for at least for the time it takes for our handyman Hagrid to fix your flying machines. We're going to have a really special school year, it may interest you. You can appear as ghostly tourists", Dumbledore suggested just as politely.

The shinigamis looked at eack other for a moment. Then they huddled – after excusing themselves politely – and discussed the matter for a moment.

"Do you have sake here?" Kyooraku inquired finally.

"I'm sure it can be arranged", Dumbledore stated with a nod.

"Then it's a deal", Kyooraku decided and the other shinigamis nodded.

* * *

**A/N:** I actually don't like writing Bleach-chapters that much. I like FMA- and U&L- chapters the best. U&L? You'll see around chapter 5. The HP ones are okay. I still had a lot of fun with that.

I had to drop a few jokes, so I gave you a brand new one (it doesn't work in Finnish as the old ones didn't work in English). There was this running joke of "Are you for real?" or "Are you serious?" and so on, that was in Finnish: "Ihan tosissaan?", which we wrote wrong (ToSissaan) on purpose, because both Lady and I like Tales of Symphonia, ToS. I couldn't make that work. I won't explain the other jokes.

Next week, you'll see Lady's impression of Ouran. Don't worry, we've given it a thought, we didn't just throw them in. But first I need to translate it. I had a beginning for it ready, butI guess I forgot to save or something. Anyways, it disappeared and i have to start it again from scratch.

The story will come together once we have all the pieces. i'm now writing chapter 40 in Finnish and I promise, it'll be pretty clear how this works and what happens.

Oh, and I've been hearing this a lot, so I'll warn you: we've messed up almost all the characters (mostly on purpose), but if you really really love Dumbledore... This might not be your fic.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the faves and alerts. It's Milady's turn again, with a short but sparkly Ouran chapter. I'm going to say quite a lot of stuff at the end, so see you there.

**3. "The Father is so happy when the daughter supports his idea!" **

When Haruhi entered the third music room, she didn't face a tropical jungle nor a Japanese police troop. Why would she? That'd be silly. Actually she faced a grand piano, on which sat seven owls side by side. Each owl had a letter wrapped around it's leg. The girl walked to the group of six already looking at the owls and decided to take part in the game of staring.

It was not the first time Haruhi saw live owls so close, or even in the classroom. Before her life had took a drastic change from a junior high school girl to a senior high school boy, Haruhi had assumed that Ouran was a school targeted for the rich and the talented. The girl had got a slight shock when she discovered that the school was a magic school, which taught the (rich) children that had received the gift. An even bigger shock was that she had been found out to have the ability and, to top it of, talent. Haruhi was dragged to the school. To outsiders they talked about a stipend.

Now she was staring at a row of owls with five fools and Kyouya. Ability to adapt to was one of the most miraculous abilities.

"Is somebody going to take a letter?" Haruhi asked Kyouya. One of the owls winked one of it's big yellow eyes and the herd of boys took a step backwards.  
"Tamaki, take a letter", the boy with glasses commanded the blond boy suspiciously eyeing the owl. This raised tears to the purple eyes as Tamaki looked at Kyouya begging for compassion.  
"Now." Tamaki let out a whimper and got closer to one of the owls.

As the boy reached out for the largest of the owls, it's beak opened in slow motion, and it seemed that the little beak grew and it showed up a large number of sharp teeth. The beak snapped closed with Tamaki's finger inside and the boy withdrew, screaming in pain and waving the right hand which the owl still hung on.

Haruhi looked at the surreal show where the club leader waved his hands as two red-heads tried to grasp the owl to remove it from Tamaki's finger. Eventually the tallest one of the group, Mori, had to stop Tamaki so that the cruel animal could be removed.

At the end Kyouya had to take a letter from one of the owls by himself. As he rolled it open Haruhi tried out her first aid skills and cleaned out the nasty cut on Tamaki's finger. Dark eyes behind the glasses flashed their way through the letter. After reaching the end of it the boy coughed getting everyone, even the owls, to focus their attention on him.  
"This says that our school has been selected to take part in the Pentawizard Tournament", Kyoya told the main point of the letter. "And that if we want to get involved, this should be told to the head master. 'PS. The owls are cruel and hungry, so we ask you to feed them before letting them return.'"  
All eyes were turned to the owls sitting on the grand piano, whose yellow eyes had a sinister glow. Again, the herd of young men cringed.  
"Mori, get something edible for them", Kyouya commanded the lofty final year student.  
"Before they decide to attack someones fingers again."

* * *

After they fed the birds the Host Club sat on the couch. Each of the boys and the girl held the letters sent to them. Kyouya raised his glasses.  
"Shall we go?"  
"Of course we'll go!" Tamaki exclaimed as he jumped up from his seat. Violet eyes sparkling, the blond boy extended his left arm and placed his right hand over his heart.  
"Think about the possibility! Hogwarts certainly has not got the Host Club, and they have not necessarily even heard of the concept .We will be like the crusaders bringing civilization to the midst's of barbarism in Middle Ages! "

Haruhi raised her eyebrow as she looked at the club leader with the ridiculous pose.  
"Yeah, and we could train our language skills?" The girl added softly.

Tamaki's position slipped visibly. He attacked Haruhi with a hug and rubbed his cheek to the girl's cheek.  
"The father is so happy when the daughter supports his idea!" He enthused as Haruhi tried to struggle off.

* * *

"Father!" an excited exclamation was heard from the door. Yuzuru Suou raised his eyes from Icha Icha Paradise, instead eyeing Host Club.  
"Dad, could you notify the Head Master that the Host Club will take part in the Pentawizard Tournament?" Tamaki asked, halting a respectful meter away from his father's desk. Mr. Suou put the book down on the table and dug his desk drawer for a paper.  
"Well isn't this fine? You seem to be the only ones to go from this school", the man replied, writing on his paper each Host Club member's name.  
"You'll be leaving in a month ago and you should have to take with you your festive costumes and all that is necessary. It includes your books", he continued, putting down the ball point pen and starting to chat with his son of idle things.

"It was a little too easy ... " Haruhi thought as she followed the situation from some distance.

* * *

**A/N:** And now I'll have my fun. This was the chapter we had to take most of the liberties with, 'cause, let's face it, there was no way we could have taken Ouran in the fic as a normal school. But as you never see what they are taught... It's okay? I think, after reading (... and writing) almost 40 chapters of this fic, Tamaki is the only one totally IC. It'd be hard to ruin him. we've liked to have him with us. So please forgive the abrupt manner of adding Ouran, they're important for the fic.

That being said, this a chapter I rather like. I mean, wouldn't you send your letters with a "cruel and hungry" owl? XD I think the owls are pure evil. The owner of them was glad to get rid of them.

Yeah, Pentawizard Tournament. You have four schools already (as we kept all 3 from TGoF) and one to find out. It'll be explained in next chapter, where you'll finally get to see our impression of Harry Potter and the gang.

Translating this... I translated this with a Google Translate. If translating means making it gibberish not spoken by any human being. I had fun as I tried to make it sound like English. I don't know if it increased or decreased my efforts. I'll give you a short preview of the next chapter, translated be The Great Google:

_"Ah, lapsukaiset, allow me to introduce the new teachers? This here is Vauhkomieli, he teaches forces of darkness for protection. Say 'hey' kivalle professor Vauhkomielelle, "he had to pause during which no one said anything at all, but someone hikkasi," and here is a professor of Mustang, which is a visitor here this year. He teaches alchemy, we have McGarmiwan with ujuttaneet all the third grade and older timetables. Salute fun professor Mustang." This time it was a quick stir, when all hihkuivat greeting professor for Mustang._

And that I'll try to work with to make it sensible (the not at all understandable parts are Finnish, but fortunately I speak it and speak it well. Vauhkomieli is the Finnish name for Moody, if you wondered.). Wait for it.

I'm going to see The Half-Blooded Prince tomorrow with Lady and a few friends. It'll be fun.

So... Reviews would be loved, faves are it already and please tell me the errors with the grammar. See you in next chapter with Harry and the guys (and Hermione).


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